Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
