is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
