They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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