What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
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I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
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If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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