I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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