she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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