you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize