I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
