so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
