I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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