i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
