I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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