I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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