i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
