yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
