new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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