Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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