dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
