Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
