Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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