Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
