gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
