Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
