But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
