I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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