Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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