Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
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I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
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Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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