just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
