Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
