ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
