were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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