I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
