Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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