Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
