He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
