why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
