you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
