the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
