Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
