hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
