Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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