I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
im holly from the hills drunk
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
