this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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