..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
