another moral hangover. fuck.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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