the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize