i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
