Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
