so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
