GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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