Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
