This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
