Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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