all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
