Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i came on her dog
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
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What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
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