so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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