I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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