Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
