i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
