Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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